Are you Old Enough for Your Pet?

Baby's Pets

If you have a baby, or are one for that matter, I know just the pet for you - a gift certificate indicating your adoption of a tree.  No messes to deal with, no risk of it running away and upsetting the baby, and no ways for baby to be hurt by a pet except for a paper cut from the certificate but that's unlikely to happen.  Wait for basic motor skills before you get something that can move.

The "Golden" Age

Toddlers can move, cry, tell you what they want, and are learning basic skills they will need later on.  As such they cannot take care of a pet properly and just like to look at them.  Big pets, or ones with sharp teeth might cause problems and owies for curious toddlers while little pets that might end up in a toddler's mouth is an equally unpleasant experience.  Thus we end up with none other than the boring, pretty, easy to feed goldfish.  They are easy to maintain and more than enough responsibilty for a toddler and a parent.  Should the fish die it will also give the toddler a valuable potty training opportunity.

The Tween Years

Tweens are active, loud, scrappy, usually little, and love anything cute.  As such the perfect pet for the tween on the go is a hamster for younger tweens and a guinea pig for the older variety.  Both are cute but the older you are the harder it is to sick your hands in little nooks and crannies to find your lost pets so now is the perfect and nearly only time to have them as pets.  I mean c'mon they are so cute and that's what it's all about to tweens. Besides tweens resemble their pet counterparts anyway, just take a look at the image posted for this section and see if you can tell me I'm wrong.

Teens Love it Poppin' and Hoppin'

Teens are considered rebellious, trend chasing, image questioning, promiscuous ruffians that just wanna be loved.  Thats says bunny all over.  They are cuddly enough to be any quetionable teens best friend, get out of the cage enough to be a symbol of hope to the teen, barely add to the teen's already huge list of homework and responsibilities, and are blatantly promiscuous with the thought only to multiply, a trait a teenager can relate to above all else.  Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Obedience School is only over for YOU

For the High School graduates there is only one thought that pulses through their bodies: freedom.  No more oppression to confrom and be obedient.  Now they can be free and express themselves in college and afterwards.  In fact their free spirits will guide them to where they want to go, have fun, make friends, perhaps find a spouse, and just be an active person.  It is the perfect age for a dog.  Getting a puppy will provide the activity a young adult needs and their combined vigor will last equally until the curious light of life becomes dull during a person's midlife. A dog is free spirited, friendly, and just always seems to be smiling which is perfect for the young man or woman full of life and potential. 

I'm too Old for this

When people reach and pass their prime they either go through a crisis or just accept it and stop caring.  Eventually the ones who go through the crisis stop caring too, they are simply too old for that stuff anymore.  They aren't as active, don't want to spend their time doing anything especially menial, but still like things that they are appreciated for.  Well this sounds like the right time for a cat.  Cats are lazy, sleep all the time, keep themselves clean, appreciate meals and petting by cuddling and leaving dead presents, but overall just don't care about anything that much.  Watch out for scratches though, those can sting if you get on their nerves, just like the stinging angry letter/email of a middle aged person.

Let the Birds Fly to Your House in Your Autum

Checking out the 401k? Reaping the benefits of social security? On several medications and have grandkids? Well that sounds like someone in their Autum years. People in their old age should care about their own health first and seriously take time to consider if they need the extra burden of a pet in their life. Done thinking yet? Good. Well the pet for an older person is a bird.  They sing sweet songs, have less annoying poop to take care of, aren't as wild as other pets, and are relatively easy to maintain.  Or that person could just feed the ducks at the local park and get some excersise, but the point is that there's nothing like a little feathered friend to keep you company at the quiet time in life.

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